crawling things

I'm afraid of squishing any type of bug for the fear of it crawling out of the tissue I've squished it with and then proceeding to crawl up my arm and into my hair. I'm going to blame my father for this one.

When I was a kid I would scream for my dad to kill any type of bug in our house. He'd make a big show of it usually walking into the room and saying something like "Where is this MAN-EATING spider?", take a good long look at the bug and say "That thing could take your arm off!". He'd then grab some toilet paper, squish the bug then put the tissue near my face and scream "WATCH OUT!" (implying that the bug was resistant to his squishing technique and was coming to eat my face).

When I was in my first year of university I tried to overcome this fear by squishing a big fat centipede but I was a little to dainty with my technique and that big hairy bug crawled all over my hand...it was gross.

Since then I've developed my own bug killing method which includes and type of sprayable substance (calgon body mist works well, but lately i've found that water followed by lysol does the trick). I spray that bug til it can barely move then i get a fistful of toilet paper and wipe it up (while applying a bit of pressure) scooping that thing right into the toilet and flushing immediately. If I'm too far away from a toilet I trap said bug under a cup or a bowl while I go to round up my killing supplies. These usually include the following: aforementioned spray-like substance, toilet paper and dustpan. However, if I'm at my parent's house and spot some nasty bug I put a cup over it and let dear old dad do the rest.

The Bear

Growing up I had a little Lhasa Apso dog named Kelsey (also known as "Kelsey Bear"). One Sunday when I was ten years old my brother and I went swimming at my Uncle Larry's house and when we came home there was a little puppy waiting for us, needless to say we were both "sick" and couldn't go to school the next day so we stayed home and played with the dog. Kelsey had the attitude of a crotchety old man for most of his life, if you pissed him off he wasn't afraid to let you know (mostly by biting you). My uncle Larry and I taught Kelsey most of the tricks that he knew which were as follows: Sit, Lay Down, Roll Over, Give a Paw, Speak and Jump Up. The tricks were pretty good but the best part about the whole deal was that Kelsey could perform his tricks without us saying a word and using hand signals to let him know what tricks were necessary for him to get a treat out of the deal.

I just wanted this post to be about his amazing skill at executing tricks but I must be honest and say I'm getting a little misty eyed over here. We had to put Kelsey down a few years ago about 10 years after we got him because his kidneys stopped working and there was nothing we could do. It was one of the only times I've seen my Dad cry and I can only relate the loss to that of a brother, as lame as that may sound. Kelsey grew up with me and I think about him and miss him every day and nothing can ever replace his hairy little presence.

I just looked up from my computer, eyes full of tears and all, and his little dog tag still hangs on my corkboard. I miss that furry guy.